10 Eternal and Essential Rules of Saigon Scooter Riders

So, my dear friend. You dare to ride a scooter in Ho-Chi-Minh-City without having heard about my rules? Crazy fool, that could be the last time you pull the gas before mortality dawns! In Vietnam there is no such thing as a driver license – and the word “Traffic Education” does not exist. So before you are a significant party in a tragedy, better adhere to the 1o Eternal Rules of the Saigon Scooter Alliance that I’ve founded just now:
1) Expect the Unexpected
2) Forget all rules of organized traffic – this is selforganizing chaos. And as we know from mathematics, chaos develops a structure that you can better try to feel and watch than to describe in equations or rules. Do not think about rules to rely on – rely on yourself instead.
3) Feel the flow of the streets and stream with it – be confident that it will carry you. As within a river, look out where the flow is the fastest – usually it is the safest way to travel.
4) Whatever you do – never stop in the middle of an action and execute consequently what you started. Do not change your action – it will not be understood and you will be harmed.
5) Forget the right of way – insist upon you right again and again and again. Nobody will ever ask you for it, nobody will grant you any permission or right of way.
6) The right lane is not the safer lane – as is the left lane. The flow of traffic is the fastest in the middle – as within a river bed the shores will scramble you, so keep your flow. And remember that a Vietnamese will always cross the street – he will first check on the crossing if he will survive it or not.
7) In case you loose the overview – press the honk button and never look back. Ghost riders are not ghost riders – they have only chosen to do something 180 degree different to what you have chosen to do – continue your ride.
8) There is no such thing as an eye contact – press the honk button instead. Never start your journey if the honk is out of order. Lights kaputt? Makes no difference anyway.
9) Traffic Lights: Red Light does not mean, that you stop driving. Green Light means that you do not stop driving – would a river stop its flow? Never. So honk and move on! We do not have all the time in the world here!
10) In case of an accident – do not wait for the Ambulance. Do not call the ambulance. Try to get the next Taxi available or shout the word “Dollar” to the Taxi Driver. Remember: Nobody will give way for the Ambulance. If you have some last words to say, let them be “International Hospital” and “Master Card” or “Visa”. If you choose “American Express”, well, you are doomed!
Repeat all of the above before your next ride and remember: Whatever might happen – it will happen. Good luck! Some more pictures ? Just click here.

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